My (Not Very) Australian Adventure

Dear America.

This is a quick letter to inform you of how incorrect today’s New York Post’s headline is.

Firstly, you did NOT win yesterday’s World Cup game against us (England). It was a DRAW. How does the score 1-1 make it a win to the USA? Answer: IT DOESN’T.

Secondly, it wasn’t the greatest tie since Bunker Hill as we (England) played considerably better than you and it was only largely thanks to Tim Howard (who coincidentally plies his trade at Everton, an ENGLISH football team) and Emile Heskey’s inability to capitalise on decent chances.

Thirdly, it is not Clint Dempsey who should be credited with your equaliser, it was largely thanks to West Ham’s Rob Green’s inability to keep a clean sheet.

Finally, here’s a little piece of advice: NEVER let American film stars (who know bugger all about football) give advice or tips on the World Cup. Although to be fair, it did give us something to laugh about.

Yours Sincerely,

Disgruntled England fan.